He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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