i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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