get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
