You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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