WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
