Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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