You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
