i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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