My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
