This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
