my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
