i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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