How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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