Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
