A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
A+ Viking dick
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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