Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
