i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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