Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
