I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
