she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
