I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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