conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
