I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
