Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
