but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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