Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
