I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
