did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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