I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
