i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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