dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
