His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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