How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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