That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
