There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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