you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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