God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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