so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
