the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
