I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
OPIZZABONMYDICK
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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