im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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