walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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