dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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