I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
