That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
