Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
