suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
