Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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