I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
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there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
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How external is "for external use only"?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased