some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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