how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
