That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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