I want to stick my p in your. b.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
