I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
