just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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