Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
