There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
