Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
