The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
