Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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