dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
