I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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