How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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