Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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