The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
