Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
