what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
