HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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