just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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