Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think my vagina is haunted
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
